I, Snorkel Bob, got luaus, with the hula dancers, the coconut bras, the gooey goo, the fire jugglers, the dreaded Mai Tai, the drummers, the chants, the pigmeat, the poi, the assorted alternatives for those who can’t eat that stuff.

Remember the luau on The Brady Bunch? Gosh it was swell, with the whole family sitting Indian-style in a half circle around the camera and their very own pig with an apple in his mouth and all the beautiful plants and Hawaiians waiting on them hand and foot.

It ain’t like that. It’s maybe the best way to sample local food, but it’s more show biz and lower-key than most people anticipate. Prelims begin with the removal of the pig from the Imu. Most luaus here are a combination of South Pacific cultures with heavy emphasis on *Mai Tai drinking. I, Snorkel Bob, can get behind the boom ba ba boom and the coconut bras easy enough and bellow “Yahoo!” for the dance review finale, because it’s good. You get the sunset, twilight & starlight too.


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