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Snorkel Gear Reservations Premiums

Choose between these two snorkel gear reservation premiums when you book your snorkel gear online! Choose either a Turtle Beach Bag or a Robert Wintner book!

turtle beach bag

Turtle Beach Bag

Use these handy, cloth bags instead of plastic when you pick up the groceries or head to the beach. 4 Color image on natural canvas of your favorite reef buddies.

 

Robert Wintner, aka Snorkel Bob, Books

Advance reservations on snorkel gear or activities can earn you a book of your choice from our favorite author, Robert Wintner*. Or you can dive shallow for a paltry few shekels like Gramma used to do. Better style and action in a literary oeuvre you will not find—and don’t forget the worldly diction, the tropical erudition, the panache, élan & wickedly twisted syntax. CAUTION: PG 23, some of these, with smut-like behaviors that may lead to redemption in the end but warp those impressionable young minds on the way. Not to worry, if you’re already formulated.

*Robert Wintner is the nom de plume (et la guerre) of Snorkel Bob, Himself.

The titles below are listed in reverse chronology of pub dates, with brief synopsis and background of each:

 

wintners_reserve_cover1) Wintner’s Reserve is a case of fiction—12 stories fermented with the vintner’s craft to take the result beyond the sum of the parts. (2007, Snorkel Bob Books, a Book ‘n a Beach Chair Main Selection)

Robust yet complex, these vintage domestics sparkle on the palate with innuendo and overtone. Fruity, nutty, buttery in part; the oak is constrained, the acid balanced with an easy follow and hardly a recoil in the pungent recollection.
The stories are:

•The Powers that Be are money, political influence, masculine dominance, adventure, good friends, big talk, the high life and sexual drive—and when that’s not enough, Viagra.
•Honor Among Men deconstructs the budo code in a local martial arts club, where factional politics interferes with spiritual discipline. Resolution comes in one fell swoop, once the principals have inured themselves to dishonor.
•Bigger than Mike Quinlan weaves high school wrestling and expository writing with a grid-iron hero, his beautiful girlfriend, a flirtatious teacher and the district finals, where life and meaning await.
•A Strong, Lasting Experience tracks investment ups and downs in the E.D. market and love.
•Athena & Buck recalls the life and passing of a native spirit and owl healer.
•A Fleabit Painted Monkey recalls the life and times of Jimmy Levin, drug addict and Mick Jagger impersonater, dead at 22 from overdose, and free at last.
•Reunion finds a man as indifferent to his 40th high school reunion as he was forty years ago—but morbidly curious too. The email exchange reveals ageless motivations.
•We’ll Always Have Chicago follows a turtle nest on a nude beach and a lone survivor.
•The Scenic Route is chosen by a man with a stifling life—with reefer, beer and fantasy.
•The Luck of the Draw is a modern tale of a writer’s revenge on the reviewer who fouled his career, who is a transsexual with needs and frustrations of her own and a painful shyness that leads to romance—and literary acclaim.
•Benny the Beekeeper buzzes with bees and baffling banter belying meaning, till Benny is betrothed to Blanche, who bludgeons holy bejesus out of Benny’s beatitude till…
•The Musical Fruit is a sad tale of unrequited love, fulfilled at last through beans.

 

toucan_cover2) Toucan Whisper, Toucan Sing is a bit unusual, pushes the envelope, and engenders discussion. The material is definitely adult, but with a sense of innocence carrying through to unusual conclusions. The plot is good, the settings excellent, and the characterization and dialogue superb. We rated this a high 4 hearts.
—Bob Spear, Publisher and Chief Reviewer, Heartland Reviews

Toucan Whisper, Toucan Sing is the story of two brothers: Antonio, a gregarious gigolo, and Baldo, a dysfunctional mute who loves nature.  Both work at a resort hotel, as does Lyria, betrothed to Antonio yet drawn to silent Baldo. In the tangle is a murder on the beach and extrication, Mexican style. Exotic location, beautiful people, sex, and murder: another winning combination from The Permanent Press! But the writing is what makes this story blossom: it’s incredibly sensual and lyrical, lush and languid, like the tropics themselves. Altogether Toucan Whisper, Toucan Sing is an easy, pleasing read for the mind and senses. –Sanford J. Greenburg Associates Scouting Report
A saucy tale of a distinctive pair of brothers at a seaside resort with wild and lively escapades. —Kirkus Reviews
The transitions in point of view are deft and impressive, and the characterizations are successful; Wintner (Homunculus) endows his hotel workers with telling perceptions. With Toucan Whisper, Toucan Sing, Wintner succeeds in creating a roguish, self-absorbed protagonist who becomes increasingly likeable in the company of his peers and the context of his times.
—Edward Keane, Long Island University, Brooklyn, NY, for The Library Journal

Toucan Whisper, Toucan Sing blends plenty of escapism with a dash of social consciousness. It’s a formula that has served Wintner well before in Homunculus, The Prophet Pasqual and other novels set in exotic vacation locales; here again he provides sex, lush description of beautiful places and a peek into the machinery that makes such places work. —Publisher’s Weekly.prophet_pascual

3) The Prophet Pasqual follows an aspiring guru in Hawaii’s other tourist industry. The characters presented here blossom mightily. In the tradition of Algren and Bukowski, on the mean streets with mordant humor, here is the other side of Paradise, far from postcard pretty, showing the heat, dust, racism and magic of Hawaii.
—Martin  Shepard, Publisher, The Permanent Press

 

 

LonelyHearts_cover4) Lonely Hearts, Changing Worlds is a collection of love stories for modern times. Lonely souls seek communion in secret places. Crab bait may not sound like the stuff of love, but romance is where you find it. Whether sorting a bowl of chicken guts, visiting Death Row, bouncing off the turnbuckles or gazing out a window on the 9th floor for thirty years, these apparently loveless venues show that every heart longs for love. Here is a romp in the hay, a yodel in the dark or under the Kliegs. Success is measured in other eyes recognizing the unique character before them. —Publisher’s Weekly

 

 

Whirlaway_cover5) Whirlaway (1994, Edward R. Smallwood)
Vivid passages depicting harrowing open-sea crossings…dead-on cameos of tourists from the mainland. —Publishers Weekly

NOTE: PG 23, this one, so fasten your seatbelts & prepare to blush. NOT for impressionable children of any age.

Whirlaway was a HOT PICK at the Maui County Library for many years. It is still under option for film rights in Los Angeles.


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