Snorkeling Safety Tips for your Health and Enjoyment
by Snorkel Bob, Himself
Now, I Snorkel Bob, and you, my friends, play S.Y.A. I, Snorkel Bob, S my A by giving you these handy tips. You, my friends, S your A by reading them and playing safe.
Snorkeling (Boogie Boarding below)
1) Snorkeling is a buddy sport. You help your buddy. She helps you.
2) Never turn your back on the ocean (It’ll whomp you).
3) Always watch surf, current, undertow & surge on reefs/rocks. THIS is snorkel meditation––5 minutes minimum.
4) Avoid wana (“vonna”)–black sea urchin. Your snorkel first-aid kit should include: peroxide, aspirin for sunburn, & cigarettes–– tobacco stops most stings. So does making shishi on sting, but I, Snorkel Bob, know that this can really test a friendship.
5) Enter and exit from a sandy beach area.
6) Never swim against a current, swim diagonally across it.
7) Avoid snorkeling at dusk or dawn (gray light). Avoid murky water.
8) Friends don’t let friends snorkel drunk.
9) Don’t snorkel in a strong offshore wind.
10) Duck or dive under breaking waves before they reach you to avoid their force. Don’t try to jump over them or turn your back to them.
11) Check with lifeguard about conditions before going into the water.
12) I, Snorkel Bob, wear a Sunblock T for upper-body protection and a swim cap for scalp UV protection while snorkeling in the intense Hawaiian sun. Do not use sunscreen in the water. It washes off and kills coral polyps.
13) Fish Food is hereby denounced by me, Snorkel Bob, especially the stuff sold by the ton as environmentally correct. It ain’t. And also especially LEsueur Peas and stale bread. The plastic wrappers tend to clog my, Snorkel Bob’s, ocean, and all that crap constipates my, Snorkel Bob’s, little bitty fish buddies.Do not feed fish or any marine life. This disrupts the natural marine balance, teaching the ocean critters to beg rather than fill their natural roles. NOTE: Every dive/snorkel shop in Hawaii knows about #13. Some still sell fish food. Boycott those places, and tell them the error of their ways.
1) Don’t body board close outs (waves that collapse).
2) Don’t body board shore break (waves that break close in, over shallow bottom.
3) Don’t body board unfamiliar areas. (Ask around.)
4) Don’t body board secluded areas. (Don’t ask.)
5) Don’t body board alone. (Use one buddy.)
6) Don’t watch small local children ride killer surf and say, Hey, if they can do it, I can do it, after all. Small local children surf first, crawl and walk later.
7) Don’t break your neck. (Or your back, usually from thrust into shallow bottom like one pogo stick—head where rubber bouncer used to be.)
8) Check with lifeguard about conditions before going into the water.
9) Don’t do this.
10) Don’t do that.